U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
