you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
