oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
this hospital has no fireball
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
