Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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