i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
