If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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