it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
