He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize