Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize