Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
