How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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