The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
what day is it and did you see me today?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my shit smells like andre
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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