his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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