I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize