you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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