Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
someone owes me an orgasm
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
