If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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