I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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