I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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