I'm really into asian looking animals
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
