Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
