I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize