No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize