I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
