watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
