last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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