You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
