White coat. Heels.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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