sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
