sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
