Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
