i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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