Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
