still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
