even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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