so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
