I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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