I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
