What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
