waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Holy sore nipples Batman
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
