I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
