....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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