Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
