I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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