I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
