Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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