Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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