i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
