She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
