god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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