I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
