I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
