Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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