I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
