I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
