Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
