ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
